Some of you may have read my other stories about my experiences with Lucid Dreaming. See LUCID DREAMS and THE POWER OF THE MIND. Now I am going to tell you there is a down side to doing that.
It started when I noticed that I was constantly playing music in my head. Everybody does that but this was different. It was like the background music in a movie. I could “think” this music in my head even while I was actively thinking and even talking about something totally unrelated to the music. Like the music in the movies, I was not always aware that this background music was there but if I had a lull in other thoughts, I would immediately become aware of it.
It was my subconscious mind playing this music and my conscious mind was hearing it while my conscious mind was busy with other thoughts. What was worse, is that I cannot stop it easily. I think to myself NO MORE MUSIC over and over again and after several minutes, it stops only to start again in 10, 20, 60 minutes later.
This sounds silly but my conscious mind seems to have a mind of its own. Yeah, I know that is crazy but why else would I not be able to control it? In my lucid dreams, I have complete control and even instruct my subconscious mind to not do that any more but it doesnt help much. But outside of those moments when I am expressly trying to control my subconscious mind, it seems to be thinking almost independently of my conscious mind. I say, “almost” because it has begun a new “background activity”.
I am very well aware of both the jokes and the reality of hearing “voices in your head”. These are just a few I found on a bumper sticker site. “Youre just jealous because the voices are talking to me” “The voices in my head are stealing my sanity” “I cant go to work today the voices in my head said stay home and clean the guns”. This is no joke. I really do have voices in my head that I dont seem to have full control over.
In my story THE POWER OF THE MIND, I described over a decade of work with my lucid dreaming and my interactions with my subconscious mind. I have been able to take that to some very remarkable levels to include being able to invade other peoples thoughts and dreams and to extend my remote viewing to some amazing levels. Well now it seems I have a back seat driver to these events. My subconscious mind seems to be working at trying to make these contacts and invasions even during the day when I am otherwise engaged in other activities. It is really annoying.
The other day, I visited a friend; Ill call her Jane. She had company and I was introduced to “Terry”. As I was introduced, I heard this weak voice in my mind saying she was a smoker and a bad driver and she drinks too much. I was shocked by these comments and could not imagine where they came from since she looked and talked perfectly normal, well dressed and certainly appeared sober. There was nothing to indicate these awful things about this woman that I had just met for the first time.
In my mind, I was literally having an argument in my head between my subconscious mind telling me awful things about Terry while my conscious mind was shouting that all that was nonsense. Meanwhile, I am also having a conversation with Jane and Terry and sitting down for some coffee.
I cant tell you how distracting these mind games were while I am trying to smile and act cordial. I had to work at not saying some of my responses to my subconscious mind out loud. Just the fact that this was happening at all was annoying and very disconcerting but it was also re-framing the entire visit from a pleasant exchange with a friend to a mental brawl and mental shouting match. Jane had to ask me a several questions twice before I responded because I was so distracted.
I finally had to excuse myself but as I did, so did Terry. As Terry stood up, Jane rushed to help her. I thought she might be disabled or be injured the way that Terry was trying to hold her up but she was in her mid-50s and seemed quite capable. While Terry was looking for her purse, I wrinkled my brow and shrugged my shoulders to Jane as if to say, what is going on? Without Terry seeing her, Jane curved her hand as if holding a glass and raised it to her face while rolling her head back. The obvious sign that Terry had been drinking. It was only then that I noticed that there was a large empty wineglass next to where Terry had been siting.
Jane and I helped Terry out to her car and she was definitely not able to drive safely. Jane repeatedly said she would drive Terry home it was just a few blocks. After some effort, we got Terry to agree and I followed them to Terrys house and then picked up Jane and drove her back home. Just as I was backing out of Terrys driveway, I noticed deep tire marks on the lawn going right up to the front steps. The first few steps were broken or missing. I made the comment to Jane that somebody missed the driveway. Jane said that happened when Terry was driving home drunk one night and dropped a cigarette into her lap.
I am still annoyed by this running commentary of my conscious world and by the continuous background music but I am learning to live with it. It has not really told be to go home and clean the guns and I am not hearing messages from God. What I am hearing is sort of a news flash or intelligence report from my subconscious mind of matters that I am not immediately aware of and that have, so far. All proved to be correct. I can live with that.